Two for the Price of One
This post will be slightly different to my run of the mill posts and may even be longer than usual. This is because I have two events to report on, but as they are/were two weeks apart I thought that, rather than put up two posts in quick succession, I’d write it in two parts, but post it as a single piece after the second event. Needless to say there is nothing doing on the Bartholomew front.
Event 1:- Tristan and Isolt, Southampton.
On Thursday 7th February five of us from Heads & Tales – Mike, Maddie, Raph, Janet and I – decamped to the Art House Café in Southampton where we joined Paul in a second performance of Tristan and Isolt. Southampton Story Club meet in the upstirs room of the café, a really intimate venue (and incidentally one that Dan performed in as a singer/songwriter back in his uni days) – they also do a very rich and sticky peanut, chocolate and oat slice. I counted ten in the audience, not including the six of us performing. So how did it go?
I realised that morning that I hadn’t thought about my section of the epic since the last performance – in contrast I’ve been thinking about and practising my solo set for months! So I did a quick run through and was a little worried when I over ran by about five minutes. Not a lot I could do about it except make sure I was a little more ‘slick’ in my delivery on the night. My section came fourth, just before the interval and I must admit I was a little distracted at times during the three preceding sections. However, it was a different story when I got up to tell my section.
I’m sure that having got one performance under my belt helped me to relax. It also helped the performance to be more dynamic – at the point where Isolt raises Tristan’s sword to kill him I was there with her, standing as if I were holding the sword. The jokey asides all got laughs and a complete stranger patted me on the back when I sat down at the end. I was convinced that we had all over run our time slots, but when I mentioned it to Mike he said no, we’d all come in at about twenty minutes. I believe that the next epic in an evening will be based around the Arabian Nights.
Event 2:- Heads & Tales, Ringwood
When Maddie emailed in autumn 2018 asking if I was interested in headlining for the February Heads & Tales meeting I jumped at the chance and didn’t take long to say yes. I decided on an evening of trickster tales as I would be able to reuse the set I performed on the Saturday at last year’s Wimborne Folk Festival. At 45 minutes it was five minutes too long for one half, but I intended to start the evening with the first couple of stories and finish it with the last. I could therefore slot other stories in between to make the time up. This meant that the set would comprise of
- Brer Rabbit and the Tar Baby
- A Tale of Two Tails (Coyote)
- The Bag of Beans (a Japanese story)
- Anansi the Spiderman and how the World got its Stories
Other stories in the frame were
5. St. Agnes and Bolster the Giant
6. Half a Lie (a story I’d come across on the Folklore Thursday Twitter feed)
7. Stone Soup, a version of which has been on the brew since May 2017.
The running order I decided on was 1, 2, 3, 7, interval, 5, 6, 4.
Now I’m not the most tech savvy of people so timing performances has always been a bit hit ’n’ miss and involved checking the time on my watch, telling the story, and then checking the time again. Not very accurate. Then the other day I finally worked out how to use the stopwatch function on my phone, (like I said, I’m not very tech savvy). I was therefore rather shocked to discover that the first half was now running at 46 minutes. I’d need to lose six minutes otherwise I’d be cutting into the open mic session at the end of the evening – definitely something to be avoided. I therefore decided to lose The Bag of Beans.
The set now resembled a classic Yes album (e.g. Close to the Edge or Relayer) with each half having two short stories and one long one. I arrived at the Elm Tree in good time to find Janet (aka Bluebird) setting up a backcloth which she ‘just happened to have in her car,’ so much nicer than standing in front of a blank wall. Starting the set at 7:30 I was disturbed to find I’d reached the end by just after 8:00. I haven’t got a clue what happened, maybe I tell a little faster when I’m ‘in the zone,’ maybe telling to an audience compresses time in some weird way.
I therefore added a story about Bartimeus the blind beggar that I’d recently read in a collection by the Scottish storyteller Duncan Williamson – it’s not strictly a trickster story, but is a great example of what Granny Weatherwax from the Disc World novels calls ‘headology.’ At the end of that I was still short by a couple of minutes so did tell The Bag of Beans.
The second half was also short by a minute or two, but as that would give the other tellers more time I wasn’t too worried. At the end I got a couple of nice compliments. Janet said she enjoyed my imitation of a drunken leopard. And Maddie said she enjoys hearing me tell stories she knows because of the extra details that I put in. She also added ‘I like the way you colour in your stories.’ So now I’d better go and sharpen up my metaphorical pencils ready for next month.
Coins, Swords and Dragons.
No prospective outings for Bartholomew yet, but I have picked up a few more props, (yes I know!) This purchase came about after watching an edition of BBC4’s Digging for Britain. One of the finds being discussed was a clay pot containing a hoard of several hundred silver coins which had been found by a metal detectorist. The ‘youngest’ coins in the hoard had mint marks that dated them to 1643 and the fact that they showed little or no signs of wear led the experts to conclude that they had been buried not long after being minted – i.e. during the English Civil War (no wonder I took notice). The oldest coins were dated to the reign of Edward VI (1547-1553) and were, therefore, nearly 100 years old when they were deposited. The ‘face value’ of the hoard was about £13 – approx. one year’s wages for a working man of the time, so it was probably something the owner could ill afford to lose.
This got me thinking about other coin hoards I’d read about. One found on the battlefield at Naseby consisted mostly of Charles I (again), but also had coins dating to Elizabeth I’s reign (1558-1603). A hoard found in Dorset some years ago consisted of coins from James I (1603-1625) with some from Mary I’s reign (1553-1558). Growing up in the pre decimal age it was not uncommon to find coins minted by George VI (1936-1952) in your change or even coins from his father’s reign – George V (1910-1936), I’m sure I also handled the odd Edward VII penny in my youth. As the expert on the programme said coins are legal tender until withdrawn so unless the coinage needs an overhaul, e.g. going decimal or this modern trend for shrinking the size of coins, they will remain in circulation.
I had a look at a couple of websites I’ve used in the past and decided on Museum Reproductions http://www.museumreproductions.co.uk/shop/index.php from their Tudor & Stuart range I bought
- Edward VI shilling
- Phillip and Mary shilling
- Elizabeth I shilling & groat (4 old pennies)
- James I half-groat (2 old pennies)
- Charles I silver half-crown (2 shillings and sixpence)
They will sit in Bartholomew’s purse whenever he gets an outing and will give me something extra to talk about if I ever get asked about money.
On the storytelling front things have been going well. In December we had Heads & Tales version of the Quidhampton mummer’s play. I was playing the Bold Slasher and Dan the Turkish Knight. Reading the blurb supplied with the script I saw that the Bold Slasher usually wears a red, military tunic. It so happens that one of the doublets I wear as Bartholomew is grey lined with red, so I turned it inside out giving a good approximation of a soldier’s red coat.
The evening was good fun – Father Christmas was struck down with lurgy so Kit stepped in at less than 24 hours’ notice to play the part. Raff, who was playing King George, arrived wearing a chainmail shirt. We had a quick run through and then performed it for real. What none of us realised was that Paul, who was playing the doctor, had filled his medicine bottle between rehearsal and performance so that those of us who ‘died’ during the play got sprinkled with cold water in lieu of ‘Opliss Popliss Drops.’ We finished the evening with some storytelling games and an open mic session during which I got to tell a rather spooky tale about a Scottish piper and a pair of haunted boots – one of the stories I picked up on the storytelling course in November (see last post).
This month’s session was an epic in an evening – the story of Tristan and Isolt which six of us told between us. I managed to jump in early when the parts were up for grabs and bagged the section where Tristan fights a dragon. I soon realised that it was over 3100 lines of poetry and when printed out ran to over 50 A4 pages; all of which had to be condensed down to about 20 minutes.
I spent several weeks reading it through and paraphrasing it, I also carried out some judicious pruning – I mean who needs a 2 page description of the cut and style of Isolt’s clothes or Tristan’s for that matter? I tried a run through the week before, set the kitchen timer for 20 minutes and started to tell the story. When the timer went off I’d only just finished the fight with the dragon. Back to the drawing board!
On the night I managed to get it down to 22 minutes. I really enjoyed getting to hear how my part fitted into the whole story and how each of the tellers handled their sections. Next month we get to perform it again in Southampton, (Thursday 7th February at the Art House). Then on the 21st I get my first headline evening at Heads & Tales. I’m performing a set of trickster tales from around the world. Expect an evening of talking animals, giants, saints and a bit of bloodshed, but to quote Kenny Everett, “it’s all done in the best possible taste!”
I’ve been meaning to write this post for many weeks, but as John Lennon once said, ‘Life is what happens to you while you’re busy making other plans.’ So here we go.
Last month, on the 17th November to be precise, I found myself on a train heading for Shoreditch as I was attending a two day storytelling workshop at Rich Mix that was being run by Ben Haggarty from the Crick Crack Club. This was a re run of the course I was supposed to attend in March, but couldn’t because of the snow. There were 14 of us on the course with a 50/50 mix of men and women – for some odd reason I had assumed that there would probably be more women than men.
It was fascinating listening to everyone as we introduced ourselves. We had amongst us a video games designer, a drama therapist, a tour guide, 2 ex actors and an author. We also had a mix of nationalities – a couple of Irishmen, a Catalonian, a Lithuanian, a Croatian and a Swede. What was interesting was that I appeared to be the only person on the course that had told a story to an audience. It was an intense two days with a lot of exercises that taught me that I can tell a story after one hearing/reading without a huge amount of rehearsal. The hardest exercise was standing to tell a story to an audience of one without moving – my old chemistry teacher once said, ‘Ian, if we cut your hands off you wouldn’t be able to talk!’ To make it harder, the person listening to the story had to act it out!
After two eight hour days I came away on the Sunday night exhausted, buzzing with ideas, a lot more confident, (but not too much I hope), and with three new stories to tell. The most remarkable thing that happened over the weekend was when I finished telling a story during an exercise and the person I told it to commented, ‘That was brilliant, I’m an ex actor and I’m learning things from you.’ Ben was a great tutor; he put us all at our ease and had time for everyone. So the big question is do I go for the intermediate course next March?
Everything is quiet on the Bartholomew front, apart from picking up some more wooden spoons to use as props at the Krakow Christmas market. On the storytelling front this month’s Heads & Tales is a little different as we are doing a performance of the ‘Elm Tree Mummers Play’ based on the Quidhampton play. I’m playing the Bold Knight a.k.a. the Bold Slasher and Dan is the Turkish Knight. Then in January it’s an epic in an evening, ‘Tristan and Isold.’ Despite what I learned on the workshop, I am already working on my section, (I have been for some time), as I have to pick the bones of the story out of about 3000 lines of poetry.
To find out how things went watch this space.
Bartholomew Goes to War II
Last week I ransacked Bartholomew’s back story and did a presentation about the English Civil War to the year 8s at Ferndown Middle School. As usual, nothing that I do is straight forward and I decided that I needed some new items for the talk. Firstly I decided that I needed to replace the black acrylic ‘woolly’ hat that mum knitted for me when I joined the English Civil War Society way back in the early 1980s. I also needed to replace my stockings which were not quite so old, but were wearing out at the toe. After various internet searches I plumped for a grey Monmouth cap from Historical Caps, www.historicalcaps.net and a pair of undyed, i.e. pale grey, woollen stockings from Sally Pointer, www.sallypointer.com I was a little apprehensive about woollen stockings – would they itch and distract me while I was talking? In the end they proved to be so comfortable that I’ve ordered a blue pair so that I can ring the changes with my costume.
I also decided that I needed
- a copy of a broadside ballad
- a musket ball
- a length of slow match
- a small wooden box – I’ve actually been after one of these for a while
The broadside ballad was created by typing the lyrics of When the King Comes Home in Peace Again into Word and adding an appropriate woodcut. I then fiddled about with the font to make it look ‘olde worlde’ and printed it out onto a sheet of parchment paper designed for calligraphy. If I were to be picky then the printing is a little too clean – the printing on broadside ballads always looks a bit rough and ready to me, with slightly ‘fuzzy edges’ to the letters. However what I had produced would only been seen by the audience at a distance so I wasn’t unduly worried.
Musket balls are not the easiest of things to get hold of, but I had an answer to this problem. Some years ago, when getting rid of a defunct mouse for our PC, I discovered that the rubber ball from underneath it was almost the same size as a smooth bore ECW musket ball. At 21mm diameter it is too small by 1mm. I had kept the ball so I gave it a spray with black undercoat. Then I painted it with Army Painter Plate Armour and washed it with Games Workshop Nuln Oil, when it was dry I gave it a coat of matt varnish. It wouldn’t stand up to close inspection, but again it was designed to be seen at a distance and when I held it up while describing how to load a musket several of the kids went ‘whoa’ when they saw how large it was.
The slow match was the easiest to manufacture as, while looking at a website that provides items for re-enactors, I realised that it resembles proper, old fashioned, washing line. I still have a long length of our old washing line – which I use for the Anansi story that I tell – so I just lopped 18” off one end and trimmed off the frayed bits.
I’d seen some white wood storage boxes in our local branch of Hobbycraft. A couple of coats of dark oak stain, including to the lock and hinges and a coat of varnish and it looks the part.
At the beginning of the week I did a full dress rehearsal which was … pretty awful. It just felt so odd standing in the dining room talking to no one – with no audience reaction it was hard to gauge how things were going and I started to make mistakes. At least it gave me a feel for the timings and having done my fair share of Am Dram I know that a bad dress rehearsal tends to make for a good first night.
On the day things went well – the first session was a little short as the hall took a while to get ready after lunch. Trying to form 90 young teens into a ‘pike block’ is a bit like herding cats, Bartholomew ended up cracking an unauthentic joke, and “honestly you’d get better soldiers out of a slice of toast’!
The second group went very well; I got to cover everything and managed to slip in some extra facts. At the end of the session the group were very quiet as I got them to imagine the effect of the war on civilians. The teachers seemed pleased with the session and suggested a possible session later in the year.
So what’s coming up next? Next weekend I’m doing a two day storytelling workshop run by Ben Haggarty from the Crick Crack Club, and I’m starting to work on my section of Tristan and Isold which I’m performing as part of An Epic in an Evening with Heads & Tales on 17th January 2019.
Bartholomew goes to War
A long time ago my wife came home from a school governors meeting, “Oh by the way,” she said, “I’ve volunteered you to give a talk about the English Civil War at school.” Now I have done one at the school in the past, but that was when our youngest was in year 8 and he is now 25 and a teacher himself. So I waited but never got the call. I left a flyer with my contact details back in June and was contacted, but in the end it all fell through.
I was, therefore, rather excited when, on the second day of the current school year, an email appeared in my inbox from the new head of humanities saying that she was very keen to get me in for a talk. So a meeting after school to discuss dates and ideas was arranged and I put my thinking cap on.
I’d no worries about doing the talk,
- I’d given a talk about the Civil War to a local history group many years ago and still had my handwritten notes (which I’ve now typed up)
- I’ve already given a similar talk to the school
- Bartholomew already has a backstory which includes serving in the King’s army in the west, see http://iantovey.com/bartholomew-at-war/
What I needed to think about was how to approach the session. I am, not to put too fine a point on it, getting on a bit. Ok … I’m now well past 50! So standing in front of a class of, almost, teenagers and saying “I am an English Civil War soldier” is likely to be greeted by cries of “Oh yeah! Whatever!” and who could blame them. So I hit on the idea of setting the session on the 23rd April 1661, Bartholomew has returned to the Grey Goose after watching the coronation of Charles II and starts to reminisce about his time spent in the King’s army and witnessing the execution of Charles I. This, apparently, ticks several boxes and has been given the green light.
The school also want me to talk about some of the battles and the way they were fought, so I proposed another idea that I’d had. This will involve getting the children formed up into a ‘pike block.’ There are 60 in the first group and 90 in the second, so I’m thinking in terms of 10 ranks of 6 and 10 of 9. Once I’ve got them closed up for action I’ll get them to look about and see what their field of vision is – very restricted if you’re somewhere in the middle! Next I’ll discuss the noise of a battle field and the blanket of smoke making things even harder to see what’s going on. At this point I said, “And then a whole file collapses because a cannon ball has gone down the line and taken everyone’s head off so the people standing either side are splashed with blood and brains.”
I hesitated at this point and said to the teacher,
“How gory do you want me to make this?”
“Oh, they’ll love it,” she replied, “make it as gory as you want.”
“Alright … I can do gory.”
There’s now just under a month to go, the script is written, I’ve started to rehearse and I’m checking my kit and props already. Am I excited? You bet I am!
On the Up
Bartholomew is back, but first a few morsels of news about my other storytelling activities.
I’ve gone onto Bournemouth Libraries relief list and was working at West Howe library the other Monday. A family came in during the late afternoon and asked for some food bin liners, (I really thought I’d seen the last of them when I left the library service last November), as I handed them over the mother looked at me and asked, “Were you at Wimborne the other weekend doing storytelling?” The father remembered that they had heard the Anansi story which means that they had caught the Saturday afternoon session – or at least the end of it. Needless to say I got a warm glow of satisfaction from being recognised.
Madeline and Mike from Heads & Tales have been working on the programme for the coming year and have asked me to do a headline spot in February – 21st two days before my birthday. I was really chuffed to be asked as I will only have been storytelling, seriously, for about a year by then.
The Trick of the Tale
No not the 1975 album by Genesis. Coyote, Anansi and others rub shoulders in a light hearted celebration of tricksters from around the world. Sticky situations abound!
I’m also hoping to do some storytelling to a group of school children that will be spending the night in the Viking long hall at the Ancient Technology Centre in Cranbourne; stories of Loki and Thor before bedtime, what could be better?
So what’s been happening with my alter ego Bartholomew? The other evening I had a surprise visit from Isabel, a colleague from my Teaching Assistant days. “Hello Ian, do you still do or are you interested in doing Bartholomew Weever at Parley?” “As it happens …,” I replied and handed her a flyer I’d had printed in case I needed one at the Folk Festival. The upshot was I was booked to perform on Friday 13th! The good news was that they were happy for the session to straddle playtime and for me to perform the extended version of Bartholomew’s story.
For this I needed some new props so I dragged my grandmother’s old blanket box out of the loft. Now I know it’s not ‘authentic,’ but I decided some time ago that I’m not trying to accurately recreate life in the 17th century. If I were I’d need rotten teeth, fleas, lice and possibly a dose of bubonic plague. I’m trying to give the children a flavour of what life was like; the props are mainly reproductions so I’m happy to use a box that looks the part. The first thing I had to do after cleaning it up was repair the base that was coming away. I also wanted a pie and a ship’s biscuit, which after much trial and error, I managed to create from salt dough.
There were a couple of glitches – well it was Friday 13th! I arrived in good time and tested the PowerPoint presentation for part 1, the school’s laptop read my data stick and it worked perfectly. Then I tried my gizmo for advancing the slides, it wouldn’t talk to the computer and didn’t work. I also found that the laser pointer that is built into it didn’t show on the whiteboard. Not a major problem as I could sit by the laptop to control the presentation and point to images on the whiteboard which was placed close by. There then followed a classic ‘crossed wires’ moment, I had asked the teacher, “Is it a touch screen?” She obviously thought I was referring to the laptop and replied, “No it’s old fashioned.” Partway through the presentation I leaned across to point something out on the whiteboard, accidentally touched it and moved onto the next slide. What was worse, I did it again later on.
Bartholomew’s story after the break went well. I was a little worried as parts of the story have been rearranged, parts have been cut and new bits inserted, plus I also had to break off several times to pack items into the box and talk about them as I did. Luckily storytelling has taught me not to treat the story like a script that has to be strictly adhered to but as a framework. As it happens, I did remember everything and managed to feel quite relaxed as I performed – even during the conversations with characters that were not physically present.
There were some lovely interactions that day. When I held up my onion bottle and said it was named after a vegetable, so what did they think it was, several children called out ‘broccoli’. [Broccoli wasn’t introduced into the country until the 18th century] I was also asked why I called the gold coin that I showed a guinea, so I explained that it was minted from African gold which had been brought to England by the Guinea Company. At the end of the session the teacher told the children that she hadn’t known about guineas and had learned something new herself. It’s always gratifying to hear this.
Now that I have more time on my hands I’m hoping that word will spread and that I might pick up some more bookings, not just revolving around the 17th century, I’m happy to turn my hand to any period. Or I could just sit in a classroom and tell stories.
Folk Festival Frolics
Last weekend was Wimborne Folk Festival and the town was rammed with people enjoying the music, the dancing and the good weather. It struck me, as I wandered around on Sunday, that only in England could you have in one part of town a group extolling the joys of being a ‘friend of Jesus’ while, in another, a pagan ‘obby ‘oss is cavorting round doing phallic things with a pole every time it meets a woman.
The most important thing about the weekend, for me, is that I’ve now performed in front of complete strangers who aren’t also storytellers.
Saturday’s performance was in the Sensory Garden at the Wimborne Model Town. This is a great outdoor venue with a large wooden throne for the storyteller – which I didn’t use in the end as I like to move about and act things out when I tell.
The set was called Trickster Tales From Around the World and consisted of
- Brer Rabbit and the Tar Baby (North America)
- A Tale of Two Tails (a First Nations Coyote story also from North America)
- The Bag of Beans (a Japanese story about a trickster hare)
- How the World Got Its Stories (an Anansi story from Africa)
I had 13 in the audience to start with, half of them friends and family, but only a couple of them had heard me storytelling before. There were about 23 at the end, but being an open air venue the audience was fluid. The only thing of note – I didn’t spot this but got it from Dan afterwards – was that during the performance a couple dressed in church t shirts arrived with some children and stopped to listen. All was well until halfway through the last story when I started to talk about honey beer – leopards enjoy a drink as I’m sure you all remember. At this point the couple got up and hustled the kids away. Kit Pearce recorded the performance and took some photos so watch this space.
Sunday’s set was based on songs from English and Scottish Popular Ballads (aka the Child Ballads) and was
- Robin Hood and the Butcher (ballad 122)
- The Famous Flower of Serving Men (ballad 106)
- Tam Lin (ballad 39)
I did two performances; the first was in the Secret Garden behind the library. This is a rather out of the way spot next to a busy walkway so the acoustics weren’t good. The audience was tiny, eight – I nearly got them to introduce themselves like The Police did at one of their early gigs. There was Dan (my youngest son), Jess (his girlfriend), Holly (my daughter), James (her boyfriend), Mike from Heads and Tales, Chris M (a colleague from my library days) and an unknown lady and her son. I was a bit nervous about the second story as I had to sing during it. Luckily it all went well and gave me a chance to get performance under my belt with a benign audience.
The second performance was back at the Model Town and although the audience wasn’t huge – consisting mainly of family; those from the previous performance plus Neil (my eldest), Beckie (his wife), Pippa & Matt (grandchildren), Sue (my wife) and a smattering of strangers – the performance was more memorable for me. For instance, halfway through Robin Hood I noticed a man arrive and stand at the back of the audience space. At the end of the story he started to move and I thought that he was going, but I was wrong as he found a seat and sat through the rest of the performance. An older couple, sitting to one side, got up at the end of the first story ‘They’re off,’ I thought only to see them move to a more shaded seat. And a young boy, sitting with his father, didn’t want to leave at the end of the second story when his dad suggested that they move on.
I was really there at the end of the last story with those magical transformations
The audience reaction was the best I had over the weekend. The boy’s father said at the end, “That was good, he doesn’t listen to me for that long.” The older couple also came up to say “Thank you,” the lady adding, “I was really there at the end of the last story with those magical transformations,” which is why I tell stories – moments like these are priceless. If only we could get over the majority of adult’s attitude that ‘storytelling is just for kids.’
If you’ve never seen live storytelling I’d urge you to check out a session, you don’t know what you’re missing.
The Sting in the Tale
Saturday’s set will be trickster tales from around the world and, with the exception of one story; all are ones that I’ve told at various times in the library. All I need to do is check the timings and decide on the running order, then make a snake out of toilet roll tubes. If you want to know what the snake, and a rope, are for come along to the model town at 13:30 and listen.
The Sunday set is titled Ballads Without the Singing and is based on songs from the Child Ballads. If you’re not familiar with these Francis Child was an American professor who came to the UK in the late 19th century to collect folksongs. However, unlike other collectors such as Cecil Sharp & Ralph Vaughn Williams he only collected the words and recorded every version that he could – even if the singer could only remember fragments. His collection English and Scottish Popular Ballads, (aka The Child Ballads), ran to 10 volumes and contained 305 songs.
Putting this set together has been an interesting experience. Volume III has a lot of songs about Robin Hood and I have toyed with the idea of doing a complete set of Robin Hood stories. However he doesn’t always come across as a hero in some of the songs. Several of them run along the following lines
- Robin Hood meets a [insert tradesman of choice]
- Robin and the tradesman get into an altercation and blows are exchanged
- Robin starts to lose the fight and blows his horn
- The Merry Men arrive and issue the tradesman with a strongly worded cease and desist order
- Robin then invites the tradesman to join his Merry Men
There is even one song in which Robin tries to extort money from a beggar with threats of violence. When the beggar refuses to hand any over Robin threatens to shoot him so the beggar beats Robin to a pulp. Three of the Merry Men turn up and Robin sends two of them after the beggar to drag him back, because he can’t decide how to punish him – it is even implied that death is an option. The two thugs (I can’t think of a better description for them) catch the beggar but decide to rob him first. As a result they also get beaten up for their pains. The song ends with Robin angry that the beggar has got away but secretly relieved that he wasn’t the only one to take a pasting at the beggar’s hands.
In the end I’ve plumped for Robin Hood and the butcher as there are three versions to work with. I was a bit wary as Hugh Lupton does a great version of this story as part of The Liberty Tree with Nick Hennessey, (I’d definitely urge to check it out if you get the chance), but I think I’ve managed to put enough of my own spin on the story to carry it off.
The main story of the set is Tam Lin. I love this story as I can really get my teeth into it – it’s got passion, magical transformations and ultimately redemption. There are also 15 versions of it in the collection as well as a poem by Robert Burns and numerous written versions, an embarrassment of riches! It’s also the story that got me this gig. My one concern is that the storytelling sessions have been advertised as ‘family entertainment’ and some parts of the story are a bit dark and a little bit naughty. So I may have to prune some bits out, or tone them down, depending on how many children are in the audience and how old they are.
As I’m doing the same set in two different locations I could end up telling two different versions of the story during the course of the afternoon. One of the joys of storytelling is that every performance is different as you are not working from a set text like an actor does.
So here I am ready, keen and hoping for fine weather and a good turn out – watch this space.
Things Fall Apart
I really didn’t want to use these posts as a place to moan, but sometimes things just go so badly that you need to get them off your chest.
As I mentioned in the postscript to the last post my father died on the Friday 23rd February. We couldn’t pick up the doctor’s death cert from the hospital until late afternoon on the following Wednesday so couldn’t register his death until the Thursday morning. Having spoken to mum on the Wednesday morning I made an appointment with the registrar’s office and Sue arranged for us to stay at her parents on the Wednesday night to save driving an extra 100 miles over the two days. We woke up on Thursday morning to Sue’s mum saying “Bill the radiators are stone cold and there’s no hot water.” Their boiler had packed up and so we couldn’t start the day with our usual shower, (SPOILER ALERT – this was the week of the ‘Beast from the East’).
We got to the register office in Portsmouth with no problem and registered the death. As we now had the ‘green form’ that gives the hospital permission to release the body we also made an appointment with a local firm of funeral directors. It was while we were at the funeral director’s that it started to snow, but not seriously. We dropped mum back at home and decided not to stay for a quick cuppa. We left Gosport at 3pm on a journey that should have taken an hour. At 5:30 we were within 350 yards of the end of the motorway when everything ground to a halt – the New Forest had become impassable. At 8:30pm Hampshire Police declared it a major emergency and called in the Army to assist, 3 diggers finally arrived at 1am and started to clear a route. Everything was fine until we reached Ringwood, but the last 6 or so miles was on untreated roads which hadn’t had much traffic, in freezing rain. We finally arrived home at 2am and I then had to shovel snow off the drive so that we could get the car off the road. The one spot of relief was the cup of hot chocolate given to us at 11:30pm by some locals who were walking up and down the carriageway dishing out hot drinks to us stranded motorists.
As there was more bad weather forecast for the Friday and, according to our daughter, the trains in and out of London were still badly disrupted, I never got my birthday present. This was a two day storytelling workshop in Shoreditch run by Ben Haggarty from the Crick Crack Club which I’d really been looking forward to this, but at least I got a full refund, given the circumstances.
Monday 12th was dad’s funeral which was tough on the family. I had been asked to do the eulogy by mum and managed to keep it together. Still it did give me the chance to say ‘bloody’ in church in front of 4 vicars! Dad’s ship, HMS Formidable, had suffered a Kamikaze attack on the day before his 20th birthday – his action station had been on the ship’s island so he had been looking down on the plane as flew down the length of the fight deck before making its final attack. After it was all over he had commented,
“I’ve been through the Blitz; we’ve had bombs, we’ve had incendiaries, we’ve had landmines thrown at us but it’s the first time I’ve had the bloody plane thrown at me as well.”
Another result of the disruption caused by the bad weather was Kinson Primary School cancelling their Great Fire of London session. Plus both grandchildren went down with chicken pox – not at the same time but one after the other – so ‘Grumpy’ duties have been fun recently.
So life hasn’t exactly been a bed of roses at the moment, but I’m determined to end this post on a positive note. I’m not doing a storytelling session at Wimborne Folk Festival in June … I’m booked to do three, (watch this space).
This post will end up being uploaded long after some of the events it refers to for reasons that will become clear later.
On the Bartholomew front things are still quiet. Kinson Primary School has booked a session for March – I’m just waiting on them confirming the date. I have suggested to them that I could give the new format a run out; this would involve doing the PowerPoint presentation before break. The classroom would then be ‘dressed’ to resemble the Grey Goose tavern while the children are at play and I would have longer to get into my costume. To this end I have extended Bartholomew’s story so I should be able to talk about all of the props as they are packed away prior to Bartholomew and Abigail fleeing to the Moorfields camp. If they go for the idea it should make a pretty interesting story. I haven’t heard anything definite yet from Grovelands Primary in Walton-on-Thames (Bartholomew is nothing if not willing to travel).
So what’s been happening on the performance front in general?
Jan 25th – the Burn’s night supper went very well, the food in particular was excellent. As usual I had over prepared, talking to Emmanuelle during the meal I asked how long they wanted me to do and was told ‘about 15 minutes,’ so I quickly pruned out a couple of the poems. I started with the Address to a Haggis – there were one or two stumbles over some of the more obscure Scottish words, but on the whole it went OK. I had got to the end of the penultimate poem and had said ‘I’ll do one more’ when someone called out ‘do two’ – so I did. Mark and Emmanuelle were both happy with the evening and several people came up to me afterwards to say thank you and how much they had enjoyed the performance.
Feb 3rd – the family decamped to Derby as my nephew was getting married. A couple of weeks before the wedding I’d got a surprise phone call from Stuart asking if I’d do the reading during the service, which was very flattering.
Feb 15th – Heads and Tails at Ringwood. There was no professional storyteller this month so the whole evening was ‘open mic’, the theme was Love, Lust and Laughter. I ended up performing two stories during the evening – Tam Lin & His Heart’s Desire (aka The Woodcutter and the Unicorn). Tam Lin was the last story before the first break and after it Mike, who runs the club, asked if I’d be interested in doing a set at Wimborne Folk Festival in June? I just about restrained myself from biting his hand off. So now I’m turning my mind to a set built around the Childe Ballads and other folk songs. I really want to do Long Lankin as it’s so creepy in some versions – definitely not one for the kids, although I may also be able to do a children’s set as well over the weekend. The one fly in the ointment is that the proposed evening is Friday 9th June and Sue and I already have tickets for a show in Poole that night!
So why is this going up so late? Well, I’m writing it in my usual manner – long hand in a notebook – sitting in a hotel in Malta. So I won’t be able to get it typed up and uploaded until the beginning of next week (26th Feb) after I get back.
Postscript: there was a further delay as on the afternoon of the 23rd Feb, while we were on a ferry coming back from Gozo; I got a phone call from sister to say that dad had died that afternoon. I’ve therefore spent part of the last week travelling backwards and forwards to help mum register the death and sort out funeral arrangements – putting up posts being well down on the agenda.
Storytelling debut 22nd January 2018
I was tempted to start this post by moaning about how badly 2017 ended, but that’s not what they’re about. Let’s just say that, since I ceased working for Bournemouth Libraries at the end of November, both of my parents have been admitted to hospital. So, to quote Robert Burns (more of him anon), ‘the best laid plans of mice and men …’
On a positive note I’ve finally made my debut at the Heads and Tales Storytelling Café last Thursday. The evening started with a wonderful selection of stories told by Katy Cawkwell, the last of which, Iron Teeth Eaten Heart, was a gruesomely dark tale from Siberia, if you get the chance to see this take it. The last 40 minutes of the evening was an open mic session at which newcomers (like me) are allowed to go first. I’d decided that, given the location of the main story, I’d tell the Russian folktale that I’d used with a school group at the start of last year and my experience demonstrated the difference between storytelling for children/schools and adults.
When I first read the story I took it at face value – odd things happen, but it’s a fairy story so what do you expect? When I told it in the library the children listened in polite silence, but on Thursday … The story starts with an absurd situation – someone tries to claim that their cart has given birth to a foal. When I got to this part the audience began to chuckle, the laughs coming thicker and faster as the story progressed. Looking out at the audience at one point I noticed that the professional storyteller was also laughing, and she thanked me for my story at the end of the evening. That’s it then … I’m hooked.
So what’s coming up in the future performance wise? Well on Thursday (25th) I’m reading some Robert Burns poetry at a Burns Night dinner at La Fosse, a very good restaurant at Cranbourne (see I said we’d come back to him). I’m particularly looking forward to this as payment is dinner, so my next post could very well be a restaurant review.
As for Bartholomew, I’ve had two enquires about Great Fire of London talks but whether anything comes of them I’m not sure. Unfortunately, in an age of ever shrinking budgets there just doesn’t seem to be the money in schools for such sessions any more.
Remember, remember 6th November 2017
I was sitting at the library enquiry desk the other Monday when one of the old ladies from the Brendon Care group came up to me and said, “You were very good last week … I didn’t understand what you were telling us, but you were very good.” A bit backhanded, but still a compliment … I think. And what had earned me this curious accolade?
The previous Monday I had performed my Guy Fawkes piece for them. I’d kept it light and steered well away from the sheer gruesomeness of hanging, drawing and quartering – unlike the BBC’s Gunpowder (which I’ve still got to watch). It’s an interesting piece to perform as it involves playing two characters, Guy Fawkes and a secretary to Sir Robert Cecil and involves a costume change part way through – OK I change doublets, but in true Shakespearian tradition once you’ve changed nobody recognizes you.
I start the piece at one table, with a few props, as Guy Fawkes gives a (very) potted history of his life up until he is recruited to take part in the plot.
Then I switch to a second table where ‘M,’ as he calls himself, from Cecil’s spy network is preparing a report about the discovery of the plot and the fates of the conspirators. Now there are a lot of names to get my head around – 13 plotters to start with – so remembering everything is a bit of a nightmare. I’ve therefore discovered that the easiest thing to do is … cheat. The style of the performance makes this easy.
To start with Guy receives a letter outlining the plot and naming the conspirators. This means that I only have to remember that extra bits that I slip in while reading out the letter. Secondly ‘M’ is preparing a report and what do you need when preparing a report? Notes! I therefore have several sheets of notes and a handwritten copy of the fateful Monteagle letter on M’s desk. “Simples,” to quote a rather annoying meerkat.
So how did the day go? The new shirt and britches that I was wearing for the first time were comfortable and, at least I’ve got to use them, (just need an excuse to wear the Dutch coat). I did, however, have a bit of a heart sink moment just before starting. Guy Fawkes was born in Stonegate, York, so I do this bit of the performance with a Yorkshire accent. As I was getting ready to perform I realised that one of the Brendon Care volunteers hailed from Yorkshire, luckily she didn’t take offence at my efforts. I think I remembered everything – I’m not aware of any gaping holes in the performance. Better still, everyone enjoyed it … even if they didn’t always understand it.